i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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