u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
