someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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