guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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