i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
