their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize