You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Drake has all the answers
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
