we have officially lost it.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
