Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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