The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Two words: blizzard sex
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
