mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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