Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
