i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
