Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize