On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize