i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Two words: nipple clamps
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