I looked at my own cervix.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize