I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
