i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
