I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize