do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
