i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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