Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
