so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
