Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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