Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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