would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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