i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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