How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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