Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
