Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
