Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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