My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
