LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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