they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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