This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
