im drinking this country out of the recession.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
