So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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