bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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