im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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