Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
A+ Viking dick
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