We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
