And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
