we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nutella sex= disaster
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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