I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
