His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What drink are we having for lunch?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
