I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
They took my balls.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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