Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
