Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
