You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
