the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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