i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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