North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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