I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
