My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
