I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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