Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
