So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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