i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
