Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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