I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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