One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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