I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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