so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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