having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
